THE STORY SO FAR
Billy Blaze, eight year-old genius, working diligently in his backyard clubhouse
has created an interstellar starship from old soup cans, rubber cement, and
plastic tubing. While his folks are out on the town and the babysitter has
fallen asleep, Billy travels into his backyard workshop, dons his brother's
football helmet, and transforms into...
COMMANDER KEEN — defender of Earth!
In his ship, the Bean-with-Bacon Megarocket, Keen dispenses galactic justice
with an iron hand!
THIS EPISODE: Keen Dreams
We find young Billy discussing matters of paramount importance with his mother.
I just saved the Earth, Mom, said Billy. I don't have to eat
Sure, dear, said Billy's mom. I bet Neil Armstrong never
complained about HIS mashed potatoes.
I bet Neil Armstrong never travelled to Vorticon VI and defeated the
Grand Intellect, either, Billy mumbled at his plate. He sat there, legs
dangling, staring at his offensive, starch-laden foe.
After a pointed remark about the quality of the mashed potatoes, Billy was sent
to his room.
Stupid vegetables, he grumbled, his eyelids growing heavy.
Soon Billy was fast asleep.
Suddenly he woke up, and his bed was atop a hill. On either side of his bed
were giant potatoes wearing metal helmets and carrying bayonets.
Come with us now, Captain Keen, said the first.
You've been brought here by the Dream Machine, said the second.
Boobus Tuber, our king and boss—
—is now your master, come with us!
Billy frowned, grabbed his football helmet off his bedpost, and started to put
First of all, spuds, Billy said, pushing down on the helmet. That's
COMMANDER Keen. Second of all, who do you think you are?
We're Tater Troopers, it's plain to see, said the first.
Keen reached under his pillow and retrieved his Vorticon Hyperpistol. He moved
it from Stun, past Disrupt, all the way up to Fry to Delicate Brown.
How about a walk on the fried side boys? Keen said.
Two BZZAPs later, Keen pouted.
Aw, nuts. My Hyperpistol's empty, he said.
Just then, a child in chains ran up to him.
Keen, oh, Keen, oh, Captain Keen! Save us from the Dream Machine! he said.
That's COMMANDER Keen! the young genius corrected.
Whatever. Save us! said the child.
So Billy hopped out of bed and started on his quest to defeat King Boobus Tuber
and destroy the Dream Machine!